I just had a call with a dear friend this morning who is a brilliant Recruiter and she is just trying to reposition herself and find something that suits her skills but also her lifestyle at the same time. Last time we spoke I tried to give her some ideas on what she could do and to whom she could potentially reach out to. Once I asked her if she had already talked to any of these people she said:” No, I have not. To be honest I am not sure if I can do it and if I am good enough at it.”
I can so understand because I have been there as well and still am sometimes. I had the same fears when I first thought about starting out on my own. Why would people come to me? Why would they use my services when there are so many others out there? AM I GOOD ENOUGH?
What I would like to say is that it is normal for all of us to have some self-doubt. Whether you are starting a new business, repositioning your brand, finding a new career, or launching a new project, entering the unknown often triggers an avalanche of self-doubt.
Often you do not feel good enough because you compare yourself to other people. But you must stop this! There will always be people out there who have done “this” for way longer than you and therefore appear to be better at it. However, you do not know that for fact, and besides no one is like you! No one has the exact same skills, same experiences and same beliefs and perspectives than you! You need to trust in yourself and your abilities.
Below are some ideas on what you can do if you are impacted by the fear of not being good enough.
- Find the root of the fear
It is important for you to find the source of why you feel this way in order to overcome it. Is it based in any reality, or is it based on what we perceive others are thinking of us? Many times, if we were honest with ourselves and would be kinder to ourselves, we would have to admit that there is no one telling us we are not good enough but ourselves. If we allow ourselves to have the thoughts and beliefs that what people say positively about us might be true, we start to plant the seeds of feeling good enough.
- Focus on past successes and practice your confidence
Think about your past successes to help you overcome your fear of not being good enough. Remember what you did to overcome a challenge or achieve a certain goal. Replay that feeling in your mind. Visualize a successful outcome over and over again.
By the way, confidence can be learned, practiced, and built. The more you do it, the better you will get at it.
- Expose yourself to the fared activity
One of the best ways to overcome your fear of not being good enough is by actually doing the thing that you fear the most. Exposure can help alleviate fear and anxiety around feeling inadequate. When you fear you will not perform ‘well enough’ or ‘perfectly’ do it anyway. This, in turn, will help to boost self-esteem and identity.
- Celebrate your successes
No matter how small your successes are, you should celebrate them. I can’t tell you how proud I felt when I onboarded my very first client. I could not believe it and went out for dinner with my husband for some little celebration. It felt so very good.
Celebrating your success will boost your spirit up, there is no doubt.
- Stop overthinking it
If you are anything like me, you have a hard time not overthinking everything. But this way of thinking is unfortunately toxic and can hurt your self-confidence and it will prevent you from doing things and you will not even end up trying. Therefore, it is way better to just do it.
- Remind yourself that you are not the only one who feels like this
Remember one thing: everyone has felt this way sometime in their life. It is completely normal. But you don’t want to have to deal with this fear of not being good enough forever. Take charge by figuring out how you can battle this thought and become more confident. Try to surround yourself with people who appreciate you and support you and see a better perspective in you.
It’s important to understand that you’re not the only one that feels this way. I am certain that even people who seem that they have it all feel like they are not good enough in some aspect of their life.
All the best! And please do reach out if I can help you with your Recruitment activities because I am “good enough” ?